From Jeremy: On fear, hope, & faith and turning 30.
I turned 30 today and I suppose that is a time for reflection and I can’t help the fact that my thoughts, prayers, and reflections are all related to Jon today. Part of this is due to the fact that I’m sure that he is certain to remind me that I’m an old goat and that he can probably still kick my flabby backside. The other part is that Jon is back in the hospital, with his ongoing struggle with fear, hope, and faith. My reflections today center on what Jon has taught me over the years about fear, hope, and faith.
On fear: Jon has always been a bit fearless. That isn’t to say that he is reckless and flaunts this fact. I remember the football two-a-days my senior year of high school, which was also Jon’s freshman year. During a one on one tackling drill he and I came up next in line to go against each other. I was pushing a good 225-230lbs that year and was coming off knee surgery and want to prove that I still could strike fear into the would be tacklers of all shapes and sizes. Here I was matched up against my little brother, I had a good 40-50lbs, 3 years of experience, and plenty of motivation on him. On the football field I was used to seeing fear in a would-be-tacklers eyes, I’d run over more than a few people before. Yet, Jon showed no fear and bore right on in. While his tackle wouldn’t go down as one of the prettiest in history, he still brought me down one on one, which not a lot of people could say on our team or many others that year.
Over the last 3 years Jon has been in and out of at least 13 hospitals in 6 or 7 states (including the District of Columbia, I think), I’m sure mom will probably correct me with the proper count. Despite all of this Jon has rarely shown fear that I have seen. That is not to say that he hasn’t been scared, I know he has been and I know he has been afraid, it’s just that he doesn’t show it. I suspect that a good bit of that is being brave and his way to help the rest of us be stronger. I know that Jon is probably scared and afraid now. I know that he is feeling his strength wain. I also know that he has strength and the will power to make it through anything, even this.
On hope & faith: Here I think I should make sure I separate out/define what I mean here. Hope is a good thing, it is the feeling that there is something good to look forward to. Faith is a rock solid belief that something is or will be. Sometimes it is easy to tell the difference between the two and sometimes it’s terribly difficult. We have all hoped that the next visit or next treatment will be the answer to our prayers and while no miracle has happened yet, I think we all still have faith that one will happen yet. I know Jon has had many hopes for these past few years and while some of them (ND football winning an National Championship), quite a few others (meeting the pope, being on the field @ ND stadium, meeting the Yankees, and visiting Europe) have come to pass. Jon has shown that having hopes/dreams can be a great thing and that despite all of the odds you can realize that hope is still a great thing.
Jon’s faith (in God, himself, and in his destiny) I’m sure has been tested so many times and yet his patience, belief, and spirit has flourished into something that is an inspiration to me and I believe to many of you. I’ve heard several of the dire predictions from some of the doctors that Jon has worked with and I know that Jon has probably heard many more. I wouldn’t say they are bad doctors or that they don’t know what they are talking about, but certainly they didn’t know Jonny like we do. Jon has beat many odds great and small, I’ve come never to doubt in his ability or faith in doing so again.
I think I would be remiss now not to mention something (or more appropriately someone) who has done more to foster this sense of hope and faith in Jon. I know that one of the things that Jon did worry about early on in all of this was that he would have a hard time dating or finding “the one” with the monster of cancer hanging over him. Yet despite that the Lord has blessed Jon with Brandy. I don’t think you could find a better way to describe her tireless devotion to Jonny other than angelic. It took a good amount of faith and hope (and some fearlessness) for Jon to ask her to be his bride a little over a year ago and it took a whole lot of it for both of them as they said their vows 5 months ago. Their love is an inspiration that leaves me in awe.
Fear tells me that I should be spending my 30th birthday at Jonny’s bedside in the hospital. If I have learned anything from him it is that I should not be afraid and that I should not count him out and that I should continue to hope for the miracle and continue to keep my faith and to pray that I may live more as he has lived. I will have that hope and pray that Jon may live well past 30 and be there to give me grief about being an old man well into my “over-the-hill” years.
Please continue to pray for Jon as I know that tonight he is facing fear with hope and faith and love.
March 10th, 2009 at 7:03 am
We are all with you now. With our thoughts and prayers. Life is best lived robustly with hope, faith and lots of love. Jon has shown us all this many times. BE STRONG.
Your cousin,
Lisa
March 10th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
“…[A]ll creation, gazing eagerly as if with outstretched neck, is waiting and longing to see the manifestation of the sons of God. For the Creation fell into subjection to failure and unreality (not of its own choice, but by the will of Him who so subjected it). Yet there was always the hope that at last the Creation itself would also be set free from the thraldom of decay so as to enjoy the liberty that will attend the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole of Creation is groaning together in the pains of childbirth until this hour. And more than that, we ourselves, though we possess the Spirit as a foretaste and pledge of the glorious future, yet we ourselves inwardly sigh, as we wait and long for open recognition as sons through the deliverance of our bodies. It is *in hope* that we have been saved.”
I’m sure there is more in the text than I see, but at least part of what I see is that we are all in need of a miracle. God bless you, Jon. It’s only a matter of time until you (and we) are delivered.
March 10th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I knew Brandy in high school and just recently began to learn all about her life with Jon. He, from what I’ve read & know of him, is a fighter and I just wanted to let everyone know - especially him - that the Lord has a plan & purpose for him & that he is in control. It’s difficult to know what life has in store for any of us but I’m blessed to have had the opportunity to “meet” him via facebook and to read about everything he’s endoured. Jon - you are an inspiration & have a tower of strength by your side both in your family & in Brandy. Be blessed - and know you are in my prayers & in those of everyone I can possibly ask. Just know that when you feel too weak just lean on Him.
xoxoxo
March 10th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
That was a very moving tribute.. Having four boys myself I can appreciate it very much!! Your spirit and courage is so strong!! As we have traveled along this journey as outsiders we have all learned a lot about life. I only wish I had the chance of known you. You are a remarkable young man. God Bless you !!!! Keeping you in our thoughts and Prayers, Dawn Thomas and family
March 10th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
WOW! I am speechless. What an awesome tribute. We continue to pray every day for all of you.
March 10th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
I pray that my life is half as full as yours has been. I am truly blessed, because I feel that I have the same kind of family as you do, the ones who believe in the next maricle and the ones who stand behind you no matter what.
I Relay with The American Cancer Society, and do it because of people like you. I also work for the American Cancer Society and have felt touched by you several times. From the mint hot choclate from the christmas tree, (that my kids still talk about) to maybe just bieng there a day when your mom needed something. God works in mysterious ways and I want you to keep the faith. You have given the rest of us so much faith we are thankful to you. You are an inspiration to us all.
Trust in the lord, he has a plan. We may not understand, but faith will carry us thru.
God Bless each and every one of you.
March 10th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Thanks for sharing - that was a wonderful tribute! I am thinking of you all and please let me know if you need anything! God Bless you!!!
March 10th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
What a truly moving tribute. The entire May family has inspired and encouraged us all to have a stronger faith and trust in the Lord. The courage that Jonathan displays is so amazing and we feel blessed in witnessing his journey. You are all in our every thought and prayer throughout the day. May God continue to give you strength and courage.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Wow, what an amazing testimony to how you have touched so many lives, especially Jeremy’s! There is something special about a bond between siblings. He is so right, you are teaching us so much about how to be strong and how to live your life with fearless commitment. You are amazing and will continue to amaze and inspire me! I am sending you all of my love, prayers and a little California sunshine to fill your day!
Love,
Denyse
March 10th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
I joked around yesterday about your age. I guess it’s really not about age - it’s about wisdom. You all have taught me a lot! God bless you!
March 11th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Jon - We wish that we could say and/or do something that would take away all your worries, fear, and pain. I think Jeremy summed it up by his discussion of faith and hope. With faith and hope, prayers, a strong family, and countless friends you have found the will and desire to persevere. You are such a strong individual who has accomplished so much in your life. You are very special and have taught many people what is really important in life. Our best to you!
Steve, Stephanie, Jacob, and Haley
March 11th, 2009 at 12:59 am
Hey Jon~~
Trust believe and have faith(I know you do). I am sending healing thoughts with you everyday. Miracles DO happen everyday and think healing thoughts. God gave us this wonderful thing~~~The Mind~~you can do anything you put your mind to…Luv your cuz~~~Kathy
March 11th, 2009 at 1:43 am
Jon: you are truly our incredible “knight in shining, splendid, blessed armour”! For you have clothed yourself with the full armour of God - which is faith in Christ Jesus….
God bless you always,
Love & Peace
Deb
March 11th, 2009 at 2:00 am
Oh My God you have a wonderful brother, I’m sure he hasn’t always been like that though, his words are so full of love & life. My daughter & i both fought cancer, it does bring on a whole knew meaning to the word life. You are a very stong,I hate to say young man because that shows my age of 43. We will continue to pray for you and your family also. I go to Huchinson for my cancer checkups, if Dr. Feson is your Dr. tell him Kris said Hi.
March 11th, 2009 at 2:00 am
Please let Jon and Brandy know his hospice family in Ohio is still thinking about him and praying for him. He is truly an amazing young man - with an incredibly insightful and supportive family. Thank you for your update and your fearlessness in sharing so much of yourself.
March 11th, 2009 at 2:21 am
Jeremy-happy birthday. I don’t think 30 is old at all, but that doesn mean much coming from a dinosaur like me.
Jonny-we love you and continue to pray for you and your family. Hang in there and know we are with you in spirit. Your wonderful brother is so right in what he wrote. You have taugh us all courage, fearlessness, faith and hope beyoond words. My heart is with you and all the Wasinger’s send you our love and prayers.
love, barb
March 11th, 2009 at 2:44 am
Please know that there are ALOT of people praying for you Jon and also your family. Peace to you all. Lisa Thompson, Beloit
Don’t tell God how big your cancer is, tell your cancer how big your God is.
March 11th, 2009 at 3:15 am
While everyone has been expecting a miracle, the miracle is right there. You are the healing miracle, Jon.
March 11th, 2009 at 3:54 am
Ever since you stapled your fingers to the pheasant pen nets (numerous times) I knew you could take a little pain, but you are proving to be the toughest guy I know. This battle you are fighting is tough but you are tougher. Dont let IT win for one second. Hang in there.
Pete
March 11th, 2009 at 3:54 am
Jon and family,
We are praying for you all, knowing that the Arms of God are wrapped around all of you. We also wrap our arms of love and prayers around each of you. You are not forgotten or far from our thoughts and prayers. May your faith in His unfailing love keep you afloat during this difficult time. Nothing is impossible with Him!
Wilma and Gary Ozias
March 11th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Jeremy, What an eloquent tribute to an amazing brother! We are all fortunate to have witnessed Jon’s courage and faith.
Jon, I have stepped up the prayers for you and your family. May God bless you and give you strength.
Sharon
March 11th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Corinthians 13:13
May love surround Jon, Brandy and his whole family through the thoughts and prayers of his extended family of friends.
March 16th, 2009 at 3:31 am
I enjoyed getting to know your Dad on our angel flight. You are blessed with a great family and many friends. You are in our thoughts and prays at St. Davids in Topeka
March 17th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Jon, as you continue to fight so valiantly, I want you to know how deeply you have touched my life. I have a picture of you in my wallet from Kansas when you were about 10, with the biggest, sweetest smile on your face. It is my favorite photo of you because it captures your spirit. I carry it in my wallet because it reminds me how priceless a smile is. Your faith, hope, love and absolute tenacity amaze and inspire me every single day. Last year, you talked about being strapped into some medical equipment for a treatment and you had to be perfectly still. You could have been scared, bitter, angry, any number of things, but you chose to not give power to those things and you CHOSE to spend that time praying for the people that you love. When I was in my car accident last summer, strapped into the gurney in the ambulance, I started to feel the pain and fear, and I started to cry. Then, despite being so out of it, I remembered you, and what you did. You gave me courage, and I prayed for the people that I love (you included). I remember I was praying, crying, and shaking like a leaf, but I had a smile on my face and that peace that defies all understanding. Your example was like a road map for me to get me back on track, and I have followed your example and road map countless times. I pray for your miracle every day, Jon. I pray for you to have that peace that defies all understanding. And I thank God every day that I have been blessed and honored to be a member of your family.
Love, Brenda
June 19th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
Добрый вечер! < a href=”http://sportbul.ru/download/ mason@sportbul.ru” >…< /a >…
С уважением,…