Jonny May

Jonathan’s commanding legacy lives in the hearts of people he inspired. His spirit of determination and optimism defined his character. The challenges he faced were continuing and endless yet his courage in facing them was remarkable.

The cancer medical world has been transformed by his energy, dedication, research, and commitment to helping others.

Epidemiology, geography, hunting, the environment, and sports were his passions. As a college baseball player, a scholar athlete, senior class president, a Medical University of Ohio researcher, the Public Health Student campus organization President, a farm boy, a member of National Honor Society, and a Collegiate Scholar, he represented a young man of integrity, courage, and commitment.

As parents, we cherish our children’s future, but Jonathan’s was cut short. He was so young and never given the chance to work as an epidemiologist, to have children, or to determine his destiny. But he left his mark on our family, in his community, in his circle of friends, and the medical world just because he lived.

Jonathan put his life on the line so others could be spared. His extraordinary bravery will eventually save many lives. We’ve all gained renewed admiration for Jonathan who made courage and cancer fighting his career. He is a study of a man who, at risk to himself, his future, and his well-being stood fast for the battle. And this in time will give heart to others.

At least 3 of his 27 years were spent on this earth with physical pain and suffering. But during all this time, we never heard him complain or indicate that he felt like God had dealt him unjustly. Because of his efforts, other cancer patients will have a better chance, the young a greater opportunity to live with dignity and respect through their cancer battle, and the medical community will have an example of his medical miracles. He showed wisdom, strength, and courage in his struggle for solutions that rarely ever came his way. But it was the thoughtfulness, the caring, the encouragement, and the support from his family and friends that lifted him up.

Jonathan, you are now our angel. We will forever miss you and your dimpled smile, your warm hugs, and you will forever be in our hearts.

I wrote this for Jon, but I didn’t have the heart to read it for the wake. Luckily our high school English teacher/drama coach was able to read it for me.

To my best friend Jon,
The earliest memories I have are from the day that mom went into the hospital to have you. Granny had just walked in the door as mom and dad were heading out. It was my first chance of being man around the farm: so I went and got stuck climbing the woodpile. It’s the only time I remember not having you in my life.

Throughout our years growing up you were my constant friend, competitor, playmate, and companion. The farm was our playing ground. Out doors it was one on one football, baseball, or basketball, bale tag, slingshotting rabbits, anny anny over, or just running around. Inside the house it was lego wars, transformers, GI Joe, or torturing Jared. Besides all of that there was responsibilities like 4-H projects, homework, feeding the animals, fixing things, or cleaning up after ourselves.

One of the hardest things about going off to college was not having you along to share it with. Your year at Bowling Green was one of the best in my life because I not only was I starting a new life with my wife that year, I also got to share so much more of my life at Notre Dame with you. When you moved up to Toledo, it finally felt like I had more of home up there with me.

When you were first diagnosed, I knew that you would win, you were too competitive for it to be any other way. Through all of the pain, treatments , and travel you always seemed stronger to me. All of the doctors dire predictions were always going to be wrong because you were the strongest, bravest person alive.

Through it all you were always so self less. You worried about the rest of your family and Brandy. You wanted to make sure more research was being done so others would not have to travel the same hard path that you had to. To me this is your legacy. To put love one’s first, live life to it’s last full measure, and to never, never, never give up.

You didn’t lose your battle with cancer because everyone you touched is still fighting for you and will see this battle through. Death is a coward and had to sneak up on you while you were sleeping. Worry not Jon you’ll always be with my family and I’ll raise my kids as our parents raised us. If I can ever be half the man you were, I’ll consider it a life well lived.

Farewell my friend, may flights of angels sing you to you rest.

Jeremy

Jonathan May passed away in the loving arms of his wife and family at Promise Regional Hospital in Hutchison, KS on March 24, 2009. Jon was born on October 20, 1981 in Beloit, KS.

Jonathan grew up on the family’s farm just north of Tipton, KS. He graduated from Tipton High School in 2000. While in high school he was a member and officer in the National Honor Society and was the Wendy’s High School Heisman Award winner for the state of Kansas. He was a four-sport letterman and earned a medal at state golf and was selected to play in post-season All-Star games in both football and basketball. He was captain of the Scholar Quiz Bowl Team that went to State and earned numerous gold medals at state forensics competitions. He was Senior Class President and won the National Wild Turkey Federation’s local, state, and national scholarship.

Jonathan attended Fort Hays State University where he graduated with a degree in Geosciences with a Leadership Certificate. While at FHSU he played on the Varsity Baseball Team, was on the Dean’s List, and interned with the Kansas Department of Health and Environment. After graduation Jon attended the Medical University of Ohio in Toledo, OH. He graduated with a Master’s Degree in Public Health Epidemiology in December of 2008.

Jon was an avid outdoorsman. Jon was always on the lookout for prime hunting and fishing areas and loved to spend time with his family and friends outdoors. He enjoyed the camaraderie and banter of a good fish story or a good hunt. At any family gathering he would be found in the center of a game of cards and more times than not he would be winning.

In 2006 Jon was diagnosed with Alveolar Soft Part Sarcoma Cancer. Through Jon’s struggle he traveled to 15 hospitals in 9 states. He also had the privilege of having an audience with Pope Benedict XVI on a pilgrimage to Europe, met with the New York Yankees, was on the sidelines for a Notre Dame football game, and made friends everywhere he went.

Jonathan’s dream of having a family of his own was realized when he met the love of his life in August 2007. They were united in marriage on October 18th, 2008 on the campus of Notre Dame. Through their abiding love in each other, they were able to fight through the pain and hardship that came with his disease. The strength they found in each other’s arms is an inspiration to all. Although their time together was short, the love they shared allowed them both to experience life beyond their years.

Jonathan’s commanding legacy lives in the hearts of thousands of people he touched with his strength and grace. The field of oncology has been transformed by his energy, dedication, research, and commitment to helping others. What happens now to the medical world, Jon’s family and friends depends on what we do with what he has left for us. Pass the kindness forward, fight each battle with grace and dignity and never, never, never give up.

In lieu of flowers the family is asking that money be donated to the following funds that have been established in Jonathan’s honor: The Jonathan May Memorial Scholarship Fund, The Jonathan May ASPS Cancer Research Foundation, or Tipton Catholic High School.

For further information go to: http://www.mcdonaldrobertsfuneralservice.com/index.cfm

It is with a heavy heart that I am posting that Jon didn’t wake up this morning.  His funeral will be on Saturday at St. Bonificace church in Tipton, KS.

I was doing some spring cleaning today in my basement and I decided to tackle “Jon’s corner”.  Jon’s corner is mostly empty now, but for a time it was stuffed full of all of the stuff we moved out of Jon’s apartment in Toledo from the summer when he was diagnosed and needed to move out.  He was in Minnesota for treatment and we loaded up his truck and my van and moved it all to my basement (with some help from mom’s family).  Over the last few years Jon’s spent time at my house and he has always had his little piece of home and he has taken most of his stuff with him.  I finally decided to tackle what was left to see if there is anything he might want/need and to work on the (much) larger goal of cleaning/reclaiming the basement (it’s not quite a hazmat facility).

The point of my story is what I found in Jon’s corner.  A small portion of what I found is clothes.  Clothes that Jon used to wear all of the time:  Notre Dame, FHSU, BGSU, & Ohio Medical college gear, the Cininati Reds uniform he wore for Halloween (he dressed as Chris Sabo), and small pile of socks.  Clothes that are now too big because he is almost half the weight he was when he wore them.  I found a World Series program and Jon’s baseball gloves and I remember how much he has always loved to watch and play baseball.  I found his nice pool cue.  I found some of the camo I gave him from the Air Force Academy that he used for hunting.  I found some fishing lures and fishing line.  I found his basketball shoes.  I found books and notes from Fort Hays and from Ohio Medical College.  These are all part of Jon’s life from 3 years ago, before cancer.

I also found packages of the bandages Jon needed after one of his surgeries.  I found some empty bottles of one of the many medications he has had to take.  I found the extra foam for the matrass he had down hear to ease some of the pain when he slept.  I found a few cards from family and friends wishing Jon well.   All reminders of the fight over the last 3 years.

I’ll be hoest with you, going through it all was not easy and I did cry.  I also felt anger that cancer has taken this from Jon.  I also felt a lot of anger that Jon has had to suffer through all of this, that more is not being done to find a cure: that more money is not going to research.  I also took some time to pray that Jon may be made well and that he can once again enjoy the things that I found down here.  Jon, don’t worry you corner may have moved, but it will still be down here when you are ready.

I turned 30 today and I suppose that is a time for reflection and I can’t help the fact that my thoughts, prayers, and reflections are all related to Jon today. Part of this is due to the fact that I’m sure that he is certain to remind me that I’m an old goat and that he can probably still kick my flabby backside. The other part is that Jon is back in the hospital, with his ongoing struggle with fear, hope, and faith. My reflections today center on what Jon has taught me over the years about fear, hope, and faith.

On fear: Jon has always been a bit fearless. That isn’t to say that he is reckless and flaunts this fact. I remember the football two-a-days my senior year of high school, which was also Jon’s freshman year. During a one on one tackling drill he and I came up next in line to go against each other. I was pushing a good 225-230lbs that year and was coming off knee surgery and want to prove that I still could strike fear into the would be tacklers of all shapes and sizes. Here I was matched up against my little brother, I had a good 40-50lbs, 3 years of experience, and plenty of motivation on him. On the football field I was used to seeing fear in a would-be-tacklers eyes, I’d run over more than a few people before. Yet, Jon showed no fear and bore right on in. While his tackle wouldn’t go down as one of the prettiest in history, he still brought me down one on one, which not a lot of people could say on our team or many others that year.
Over the last 3 years Jon has been in and out of at least 13 hospitals in 6 or 7 states (including the District of Columbia, I think), I’m sure mom will probably correct me with the proper count. Despite all of this Jon has rarely shown fear that I have seen. That is not to say that he hasn’t been scared, I know he has been and I know he has been afraid, it’s just that he doesn’t show it. I suspect that a good bit of that is being brave and his way to help the rest of us be stronger. I know that Jon is probably scared and afraid now. I know that he is feeling his strength wain. I also know that he has strength and the will power to make it through anything, even this.

On hope & faith: Here I think I should make sure I separate out/define what I mean here. Hope is a good thing, it is the feeling that there is something good to look forward to. Faith is a rock solid belief that something is or will be. Sometimes it is easy to tell the difference between the two and sometimes it’s terribly difficult. We have all hoped that the next visit or next treatment will be the answer to our prayers and while no miracle has happened yet, I think we all still have faith that one will happen yet. I know Jon has had many hopes for these past few years and while some of them (ND football winning an National Championship), quite a few others (meeting the pope, being on the field @ ND stadium, meeting the Yankees, and visiting Europe) have come to pass. Jon has shown that having hopes/dreams can be a great thing and that despite all of the odds you can realize that hope is still a great thing.

Jon’s faith (in God, himself, and in his destiny) I’m sure has been tested so many times and yet his patience, belief, and spirit has flourished into something that is an inspiration to me and I believe to many of you. I’ve heard several of the dire predictions from some of the doctors that Jon has worked with and I know that Jon has probably heard many more. I wouldn’t say they are bad doctors or that they don’t know what they are talking about, but certainly they didn’t know Jonny like we do. Jon has beat many odds great and small, I’ve come never to doubt in his ability or faith in doing so again.

I think I would be remiss now not to mention something (or more appropriately someone) who has done more to foster this sense of hope and faith in Jon. I know that one of the things that Jon did worry about early on in all of this was that he would have a hard time dating or finding “the one” with the monster of cancer hanging over him. Yet despite that the Lord has blessed Jon with Brandy. I don’t think you could find a better way to describe her tireless devotion to Jonny other than angelic. It took a good amount of faith and hope (and some fearlessness) for Jon to ask her to be his bride a little over a year ago and it took a whole lot of it for both of them as they said their vows 5 months ago. Their love is an inspiration that leaves me in awe.

Fear tells me that I should be spending my 30th birthday at Jonny’s bedside in the hospital. If I have learned anything from him it is that I should not be afraid and that I should not count him out and that I should continue to hope for the miracle and continue to keep my faith and to pray that I may live more as he has lived. I will have that hope and pray that Jon may live well past 30 and be there to give me grief about being an old man well into my “over-the-hill” years.

Please continue to pray for Jon as I know that tonight he is facing fear with hope and faith and love.

I’ve been wanting to post some pictures and some of my own thought’s on Jon’s graduation (and the wedding for that matter, but that will continue to wait).

Jon has been a hero of mine for many years. Even when we were little kids, I knew he is better than I am. I know I pushed him (and picked on him) a bit, but really he has always been smarter, faster, and stronger than I was. I know it didn’t always show because I had the advantage of age (and size). I have always been proud of him. He did better in every sport than I did and I was so proud of what he could accomplish on the field. In the classroom, it didn’t take him long to graduate from college and get started in surpassing me there.

I hear a lot of people tell me how amazed they are at Jon’s physical and mental toughness in this battle. In some ways I am not surprised, because I’ve grown up knowing that Jon has this strength in him. That doesn’t mean I am not in awe of him.

I know I wouldn’t be half the man I am today, if it weren’t for my younger brother pushing me to be better and I would consider it quite an accomplishment if I could be half the man he is.

Here are a couple of pictures. I don’t know if there are better ones out there, because honestly I don’ know if there was a dry eye in the family.

God bless you all and God bless Jon and Brandy,

–Jeremy

Hey, it’s Brandy here! Just wanted to give an update on Jon! After waking up to some serious pain and frequent urination overnight I called hospice and they decided we should bring a urine sample to the hospital in Beloit. Jon was in so much pain that we decided he should come with. He had taken some ibuprofen before we left, but by the time we got to Beloit his pain had returned. He decided to be admitted, which is hard for him because, as you know he really hates being at the hospital!

After getting some fluids started and some pain medications they took him down for a CT of the kidneys/bladder. In about 30 minutes we had results! He did have a kidney stone, but it had already passed into his bladder! So the worst is over!

Now, he will just finish this bag of IV fluids and he will be released. Hopefully he will pass that pesky stone tonight!

Thanks for all of your love, support and prayers! We love you all!

Brandy and Jon

Hello out there. I am sorry for not posting a quick update on my latest scans. Overall I feel good about them despite mixed results (at least in the lungs). My bone scan looked great, nothing new popped up or got worse. However, in my lungs there was some growth and yet some shrinking and even disappearing tumors in some areas. It was decided that I stay on Sutent for another cycle. So I won’t have much change in my treatment plan for at least another month to six weeks.

I am looking forward to the big day tomorrow and getting settled eventually in the Dallas/FW area. I am confident that Brandy will find a good job down there and we are really excited for the warmer weather. We are working hard on finding the best medical team possible for me on all fronts.

As for graduation, you can watch a live webcast of the commencement ceremony at http://video.utoledo.edu (it should start around 10 AM).

Thank you all for the kind words and prayers!